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Friday, April 20, 2007

Bones Found In Washington DC Believed To Be First Politician / Three Labrador Retrievers

An archeological team, digging in Washington DC , has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Politician.

Could this be the first "Bush" in Washington ?

Three male Labrador Retrievers -- one
Chocolate, one yellow and one black were sitting
In the waiting room at the vet's when
They struck up a conversation.

The black Lab turned to the chocolate Lab and
said, "So why are you

The brown Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I
Piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains,
The cat, the kids. But the final straw was
Last night when I pissed in the middle of my
Owner's' bed."

The black Lab said, "So what is the vet going to

"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from
The chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll cal
Me down."

The black Lab then turned to the yellow lab
And asked, "Why are you here?"

The yellow Lab said, ! "I'm a digger. I dig
Under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig
Just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I
Dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last
night when I dug a
great big hole in my owner's couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the black
Lab inquired.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too". The de jected
yellow Lab said.

The yellow Lab then turned to the black Lab
And asked, "Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper," the black Lab said. "I'll hump
anything. I'll hump the
cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I
want to hump everything I

Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the
Shower and was bending down to dry her toes,
And I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her
back and started
humping away".

The yellow and chocolate Labs exchanged a sad
glance and said, "So,
! nuts off for you too, huh?"

The black Lab said.... "No, I'm here to get my
nails clipped."

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several
years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in
him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or
his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to
Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise
the child,
he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She
agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and
write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child
payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to
his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange
card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said.
The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned
white, and fainted.
On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with
meatballs, one without."

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