Chili Cook-off

Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the Budweiser truck,when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides,they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, So I accepted...

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 -- Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

Judge # 1 - A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild
Judge # 3 - Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.


Chili # 2 -- Arthur's Afterburner Chili

Judge # 1 - Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 - Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 - Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


Chili # 3 -- Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

Judge # 1 - Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 - A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 - Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.


Chili # 4 -- Bubba's Black Magic

Judge # 1 - Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 - Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 - I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. bitch is starting to look HOT -- just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?


Chili # 5 -- Linda's Legal Lip Remover

Judge # 1 - Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 - Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 - My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.


Chili # 6 -- Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

Judge # 1 - Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 - The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic Superb.
Judge # 3 - My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.


Chili # 7 -- Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

Judge # 1 - A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 - Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 - You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, its too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


Chili #8 -- Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili

Judge # 1 - The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge #2 - This final entry is a good, balance chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili.

Here She is, the USS New York

USS New York

She was built with 24 tons of scrap steel from the World Trade Center.

She is the fifth in a new class of warship - designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists and will carry a crew of 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft.

Steel from the World Trade Center was melted down in a foundry in Amite, LA to cast the ship's bow section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept. 9, 2003, "those big rough steelworkers treated it with total reverence," recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who was there. "It was a spiritual moment for everybody there."

Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it with his hand and the "hair on my neck stood up." "It had a big meaning to it for all of us," he said. "They knocked us down. They can't keep us down. We're going to be back."

The ship's motto?......."Never Forget"

The Whale

If you read the front page story of the SF Chronicle,
you would have read about a female humpback whale
who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps
and lines.

She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused
her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of
line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line
tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the FarraloneIslands
(outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help.

Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was
so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her.
They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.

When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles.

She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed gently around-she thanked them.

Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives.

The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was
following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

Fox News Blooper - Shepard Smith

Fox News Channel anchor Shepard Smith was arrested by Florida police in November 2000 and charged with aggravated battery with a motor vehicle after arguing with another reporter over a parking space (both were covering the Bush-Gore Florida vote debacle).

The Smoking Gun

Fox News anchor Shepard Smith outed; will people of note ever willingly come out?

Smith once chatted me up in a New York City gay piano bar, bought me drinks, and invited me back to his place. When I declined, he asked me to dinner the next night, another invitation I politely refused. We sat at the bar chatting and drinking martinis until 3 a.m., our conversation interrupted only when he paused to belt out the lyrics to whatever showtune was being performed.

-- Washington Blade Managing Editor Kevin Naff, on getting hit on by showtune aficionado Shepard Smith

Media Witnesses Describe McVeigh Execution

Thank you. SHEPARD SMITH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL: I'm Shepard Smith from Fox News Channel. We were taken in as a group.

QUESTION: Spell it, please.

SMITH: S-h-e-p-a-r-d Smith, the Fox News Channel.

The Sidewalk Art Of Julian Beever - Part 1

Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his art on the pavement of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion.

Julian Beever

The Sidewalk Art Of Julian Beever - Part 2

Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his art on the pavement of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion.

Julian Beever

The Sidewalk Art Of Julian Beever - Part 3

Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his art on the pavement of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion.

Julian Beever

Groundhog Day

Phil Says Spring is Right Around the Corner!

Phil's official forecast as read 2/2/07 at 7:28 a.m. at Gobbler's Knob:

El Nino has caused high winds, heavy snow, ice and freezing temperatures in the west.
Here in the East with much mild winter weather we have been blessed.

Global warming has caused a great debate.
This mild winter makes it seem just great.

On this Groundhog Day we think of one thing.
Will we have winter or will we have spring?

On Gobbler's Knob I see no shadow today.
I predict that early spring is on the way.

FReeper Canteen~Music for the Troops~Cabin Fever~Feb. 18, 2006

Dave Burbeck~Take Five
Does Cabin Fever have you feeling like a wet blanket at a beach bingo party??
Does shoveling snow, or sand, or walking in slime,
have you about to rip out your hair?
Is that what is bothering you bunky??

Buy Groundhog Day at CD Universe

Buy Groundhog Day at Barnes & Noble

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked
my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for
a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a
100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were
supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your
assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO
COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two
AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was
disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed
it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arch of
electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on
the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it
couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?!!!

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting
little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I
really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I
must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second)
and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to
give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did
want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading
glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one
hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one second burst would
shock and disorient your assailant; a two second burst was supposed to
cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three second
burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a
fish out of water.Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting
the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long,
less than 3/4" in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two
itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best ...

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one second burst
from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided
to give myself a one second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the
prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF
MASS DESTRUCTION!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up
in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over
and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears
in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to
be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position,
and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing
sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to
herself, "do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note
ofcaution: There is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap
yourself.You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from
your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst
would be considered conservative.

SON-OF-A-BITCH that hurt like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure,
as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what
little I had left) sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading
glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get
there???My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My
face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip
weighed 88 lbs.I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a
significant reward for their safe return.

Still in shock,

Numb Nuts

Do these pants make my ass look fat ???

Fifty Car Pile-Up In Erie PA.

Truck driver Ron Hall was the man behind the wheel of this rig during the recent fifty car pile up on I 90 in Erie PA. He opened his door when his truck came to a stop looked down to see that he was dangling 300 feet above the Wintergreen Gorge. Sure that he would soon die, he looked to his right and saw a man in a Carhartt sweatshirt walking the snow and ice covered 8" wide guide wall toward him, carrying a pipe wrench. The man climbed on to the wreckage, broke out the windshield and pulled Hall out of the cab,then walked him back along the ledge to safety When they made it to safety he turned, in tears, to thank the man, but he'd already walked away into the white out, presumably to help others. He never even got his name.

Boston Hit By Turner Cartoon Stunt Gets Pissed

Turner TV show promo scares, angers Bostonians

Wednesday in Boston, where 10 or more electronic devices that had been placed at various locations sparked enough concern to bring out the bomb squad. Even the governor of Massachusetts was irritated by the campaign, which led to temporary shutdowns of subway service, some streets and part of I-93.

Boston bomb scare a TV cartoon promotion

BEIJING, Feb. 1 (Xinhuanet) -- The mysterious packages that shut down traffic, bridges and a section of the Charles River and threw Boston into a tizzy Wednesday turned out to be illuminated electronic devices that were part of a promotion for a late-night cable surreal cartoon program, not bombs.
The devices, planted at bridges and other locations, promoted a Cartoon Network program named "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," whose main characters are a talking milkshake, a box of French fries and a meatball, according to Turner Broadcasting. Most of the devices depicted a character making an obscene finger gesture.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Aqua Teen Hunger Force (a.k.a. ATHF) is an American animated comedy shown on Cartoon Network as part of its Adult Swim late-night programming block. The series features three anthropomorphic fast food items�the Aqua Teen Hunger Force or Aqua Teens�who are supposed to be detectives. As the series progressed, the crime-solving aspect of the show was quickly abandoned, although many episodes still involve villains. There is also little emphasis on continuity between episodes: virtually all of the recurring cast members have died at least once. The focus is instead on character interaction and a pervasive form of brutal, ironic humor.

Cartoon Network

By the end of the 1980s, Ted Turner's cable-TV conglomerate had acquired the MGM film library (which included the older catalog of pre-1948 color Warner Bros. cartoons), and its cable channel Turner Network Television had gained an audience with its film library. In 1991, it purchased animation studio Hanna-Barbera Productions and acquired its large library. Cartoon Network was created as an outlet for Turner's considerable library of animation, and the initial programming on the channel consisted exclusively of re-runs of classic Warner Bros. and MGM cartoons, with many Hanna-Barbera TV cartoons used as time fillers. Most of the short cartoons were aired in half-hour or hour-long packages, usually separated by character or studio—Down With Droopy D aired old Droopy Dog shorts, The Tom and Jerry Show presented the classic cat-and-mouse team, and Bugs and Daffy Tonight provided classic Looney Tunes shorts. Today, only Tom and Jerry remains on the network.

Buy Aqua Teen Hunger Force

16 Year Old Takes On The Slimey Record Execs

Teen Strikes Back in Clash With Record Labels

Robert Santangelo, 16, his sister and his mother have all been sued by record companies for allegedly sharing music files illegally. Now Santangelo has struck back, raising a 32-point defense, demanding a jury trial and filing a counterclaim against the companies that accuses them of damaging his reputation and conspiring to defraud the courts of the United States.

Record industry versus 16 year old becomes music piracy test case

An Associated Press report that a 16 year old boy intends to make a stand against a lawsuit lodged by the the Recording Industry Association of America could turn into a global test case surrounding online music piracy. The music industry has been hit badly by the online downloads phenomena and in desperation is trying to use the tactic of scaring users off pirate file sharing sites with individual lawsuits. However, it's a tactic that could backfire.

Internet solutions won’t be easy

Deciphering copyright laws when it comes to Internet postings and file sharing hasn’t been easy, and regulators, the courts, the entertainment industry and millions of online users have a long way to go before much of this gets sorted out.

In the meantime, common sense should, at least, prevail. Which is why there is a modicum of good news in the fact the music industry has opted to drop charges against a Wappingers Falls mom who was accused of illegally trading copyrighted songs using a file-sharing program called Kazaa. Patti Santangelo and her lawyer effectively argued she never personally downloaded music and was unaware whether her children were doing so. The record companies are still pursuing cases against two of her children.

My Fellow American's :

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans:  As you all know, the defeat of the Iraqi regime has finally been completed.

Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France , or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of all diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded, and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those damn tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2.  Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse me of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin"
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America . Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.


2008
President
Iraq War

Author Sidney Sheldon dead

Author Sidney Sheldon dead

Sidney Sheldon, best-selling US author of Rage of Angels and The Other Side of Midnight, has died at the age of 89.
He died of complications from pneumonia at a hospital near Palm Springs, California, his publicist said.
Before turning to novels at the age of 50, Sheldon had a successful career writing Broadway plays and films.
He won an Academy Award in 1948 for The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer, starring Cary Grant, and created long-running TV series Hart to Hart.

Screenwriter and novelist Sidney Sheldon dies

Sheldon died of complications from pneumonia at the Eisenhower Medical Center in Rancho Mirage, near his Palm Springs home, said Sean Rossall, publicist at Warren Cowan and Associates.
Sheldon became an American icon in the 1970s with novels like "The Other Side of Midnight" and "Bloodline," bestsellers spun out of international intrigue and the sexual liberation of the era. Strong women were often the main characters.

Buy Hart to Hart

The Police To Reunite For The Grammy's

Sting and the Police will reunite at Grammy Awards ceremony next week

NEW YORK (AP) - The Police will reunite to perform at this year's
Grammys ceremony, the Recording Academy announced Tuesday.
The award-winning group, which won five Grammys and turned out hits such as
"Roxanne" and "Every Breath You Take," will open the event - 23 years after
breaking up amid internal conflict. The band - singer Sting, drummer Stewart
Copeland and guitarist Andy Summers - fused reggae with pop and rock, and last
performed together in 2003 when they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall
of Fame.

The Police Confirm Grammy Reunion Performance

After weeks of speculation, the Police confirmed today (Jan. 30) that it will
reunite to open the 49th annual Grammy Awards Feb. 11 at the Staples Center in
Los Angeles. The group has not performed live since its 2003 induction into the
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame; the Grammy appearance is widely expected to kick
off a year's worth of reunion shows throughout the world.
Last week, Vancouver radio station CFMI reported Sting, Andy Summers and
Stewart Copeland had ensconced themselves at the city's Lions Gate Studios to
rehearse for the Grammys.

The Police

The Police were founded by American-born drummer Stewart Copeland in
early 1977. After the demise of his progressive rock band Curved Air, Copeland
was anxious to form a new three-piece group and join the burgeoning London
punk scene. Singer-bassist Sting and guitarist Henry Padovani began rehearsing
with Copeland in January 1977, and they recorded their first Police single, "Fall
Out"/"Nothing Achieving," the following month. In March and April, the
threesome toured as a support act for Cherry Vanilla as well as Wayne County &
the Electric Chairs.

Sting

Gordon Sumner was born in Wallsend, near Newcastle upon Tyne in
northeast England, to Audrey Cowell and her husband, Ernest Sumner. He is the
eldest of four children and has a brother, Philip, and two sisters, Angela and
Anita. His father managed a dairy, and as a boy Sumner would often assist him
with the early morning milk delivery rounds. Sumner was raised in the Roman
Catholic tradition, due to the influence of his paternal grandmother, who was
from an Irish family.
Sumner attended St. Cuthbert's Grammar School in Newcastle upon Tyne, and
then the University of Warwick, but did not graduate. During this time, he would
often sneak into nightclubs like the Club-A-Go-Go. Here he would watch acts like
Jack Bruce and Jimi Hendrix who would later influence his music. After jobs as a
bus conductor, a construction labourer, and a tax officer, he attended Northern
Counties Teachers' Training College, which later became part of Northumbria
University, from 1971 to 1974. He then worked as a teacher at St. Paul's First
School in Cramlington for two years.

Buy ThePolice

Buy Sting

Microsofts New OS Vista Is Here

Vista’s a win-win, but issues remain

After five years of development, Microsoft announced the launch of Windows Vista operating system and Office 2007 on Tuesday. Slated as the two most innovative and most tested software products in Microsoft's history, the systems claims a new interface with significantly enhanced security, integrated search and overall improved performance. MS honchos have announced Vista will transform the way people use technology to communicate, connect, create content, share content and access entertainment. Shauvik Ghosh blogged around to figure out what the users had to say

Microsoft Vista: Should you buy now?

(Fortune Magazine) -- What does Windows Vista have in common with the just-christened nuclear aircraft carrier George H.W. Bush? Answer: They are both powerful flagships of technology that took five years and billions of dollars to build.
Also, while they'll both be in use for years to come, they're almost certainly the last of their respective kinds. The world now moves at Internet speed, and slow, complex behemoths - whether warships or software - are being forced to become smaller, faster and more maneuverable.
Vista is anything but. After numerous well-publicized delays - two years of core coding had to be scrapped and rewritten to plug security holes - Vista will be launched on Jan. 30, backed by Microsoft's largest-ever marketing blitz.

Green Party: Vista means more dead PCs

The UK Green Party has claimed that Microsoft's latest operating system, Vista, could lead to a mass upgrade of PCs that will result in old machines being dumped in landfill sites.
Speaking ahead of the official UK consumer launch of Vista on Tuesday, Derek Wall, Green Party male principal speaker, warned that migrating to the operating system would result in many consumers and businesses having to buy new hardware and bin perfectly usable old kit.
"Vista requires more expensive and energy-hungry hardware, passing the cost on to consumers and the environment," Wall said. "This will also further exclude the poor from the latest technology, and impose burdensome costs on small and medium businesses who will be forced to enter another expensive upgrade cycle."

Wait! Don't buy Microsoft Windows Vista

Over the next few weeks, a Microsoft ad campaign will try to convince you to move to Windows Vista.
This is not a review of the Windows Vista operating system. I'm not here to tell you about Vista or what's wrong with it. For an opposing viewpoint, read Windows Vista: 15 Reasons to Switch.
And to help you make up your own mind, here's a list of other informative PC World Windows Vista stories and video:

: A video tour of Windows Vista's features

: Exclusive: First Vista PC lab tests

: Windows Vista FAQ

This article is key reading for those of you who are about to download or purchase Windows Vista and install it on a PC. I'm here to talk you out of it. Just say no to Windows Vista -- for now. Here's why.

Paris Hilton Wants Website Taken Down

Is Paris Hilton Profiting From Parisexposed.com?

Paris Hilton and her former boyfriend Joe Francis, of Girls Gone Wild fame, have allegedly considered legal action against the operator of the website www.parisexposed.com.
As more details emerge about the purchase of Paris' personal items from a storage unit which was owed a $208 bill, the story just seems to get juicier but something simply doesn't seem right.

Ten million dollars.

That's what Bardia Persa, creator of the new Web site ParisExposed.com, says he paid a broker for the contents of Paris Hilton's storage unit — which contained, among other things, a prescription for the antibiotic doxycycline -- which among other things, is used to treat venereal disease.
Why do you think Persa would pay such an insane amount of money for this stuff — junk that even Paris didn't care enough about to pay the storage bill for, which resulted in this mess?

Get All Your Paris Hilton Gear Here

The Official Paris Hilton YouTube Channel

Suspect Driving Crystal Gayle's Bus Caught

Police in Florida captured the prison escapee who stole country singer Crystal Gayle's tour bus and led authorities on a five-state manhunt.

Daytona Beach, Fla., police charged Christopher Daniel Gay with grand theft auto. Authorities said Gay, after being pulled over driving Gayle's tour bus in Daytona Beach, exited the cab, approached police and asked for directions to Daytona International Speedway, the Daytona Beach (Fla.) Journal said.

Fugitive caught after 1,000-mile drive in music star's tour bus

AN AMERICAN convict who escaped from a prison van to pay a final visit to his dying mother ended up driving himself on a 1,000-mile odyssey through Dixieland in a tour bus stolen from the country music star Crystal Gayle.

In a plot reminiscent of the 1977 fugitive movie Smokey and the Bandit, Christopher Gay also took an 18-wheel articulated lorry to evade capture during a five-state manhunt, and was finally arrested indulging his passion for motor racing at Florida's famed Daytona speedway.

Crystal Gayle

Buy Crystal Gayle Here

Singer Brandy faces charge in fatal car crash

The California Highway Patrol recommended Monday that Brandy be charged with misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter in a Los Angeles freeway crash that killed a female motorist last month, the city attorney’s office said.
“The (city attorney’s) office is currently reviewing the case and determining whether the evidence warrants the filing of a misdemeanor charge of vehicular manslaughter,” spokesman Nick Velasquez said.
The charge carries a maximum sentence of one year in county jail and a $1,000 fine, Velasquez said.

Brandy faces minor charge over fatal crash

The driver whose car Brandy rear-ended, Awatef Aboudihaj, 38, a married mother of one, was killed when her vehicle slammed into a third car, careened into the freeway's center divider and was hit broad-side by a fourth automobile.

Tang said the Highway Patrol referred the case to the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office for further review with the recommendation that the former star of the TV comedy Moesha be cited with a misdemeanour charge of vehicular manslaughter.

Vehicular Crime & Homicide

Brandy

Brandy CD's and DVD's

$7500 buys a surfer's life

Australian sells own life on Internet

SYDNEY (AFP) - A 24-year-old Australian surfer who sold his life, including baggage from a painful break-up, on eBay says he is still not quite sure why he did it.
Nicael Holt sold his name, phone number and all his possessions, including clothes, CDs, a surfboard, a laptop, a wonky pushbike, childhood photos and a "nice lamp" given to him by an ex-girlfriend, on the internet auction site.

WHAT'S a life worth? $7500 apparently, if you sell it on eBay.

In his sales pitch, Mr Holt said the winner would be entitled to a four-week training course in how to be him - including lessons on how to surf, climb, skateboard, fire twirl and do handstands - as well as two months of on-call support afterward.
He also promised to introduce the winner to all his friends and potential lovers, including eight people he had been flirting with.

Charity Fund

In the spirit of this, there are people in the world who are dispossessed and actually have nothing. So I would like to make a contribution to these people by donating to a charity. If you would like to donate, we will put a link to your business here on my internet site.

Current Pool - $100

Embarrassments: No one is getting a life

The hugs guy and the depressed guy should take heed of Nicael Holt's cautionary tale: internet auctions can be problematic.

Holt is the 24-year-old Wollongong man who tried to sell his life on eBay last week, only to find that the winning bid was invalid. "It's a huge flaw in the system at eBay," he says. "eBay only gave us the top two bids. One of them backed out. He said, 'I wanted to do it, now I'm a bit scared.' For the second bid we only got an email address, and there's been no response."

New Seatbelt Law

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below...

THIS MAY SAVE A LIFE!