Joke - A Letter To Mom / Only A Mother Would Know

A Mother, passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Mom'. With the
worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the
letter.

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew
you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight
motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion.....

Mom... she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a
trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to
the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for
ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine
and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm
sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.


Love,

Your Son,


P. S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to
come home

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ONLY A MOTHER WOULD KNOW.....

Cup of Tea .

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as
a gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I
brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several
cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of
tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure
enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she
watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?

jokes, mom jokes, a letter to mom, only a mother would know,
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