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Sunday, January 28, 2007

Sheriff Joe Arpaio

TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO
HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF
AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER...


These are some of the reasons why:



Sheriff Joe Arpaio (in Arizona) who created the "tent city jail":

He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights. Cut off all but "G" movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.

Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.

He took away cable TV until he found out there was a f ederal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again only let in the Disney channel and the weather channel.

When asked why the weather channel he replied, so they will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.

He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.

When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."

He bought Newt Gingrich' lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.

When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 degrees inside the week before.

Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their pink socks.

"It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. "It's inhumane."

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff wh o created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damn mouths!"

Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.

Sheriff Joe was just reelected Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona.

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I'm just a bill

This is a real blast from the past I bet the kids entering collage this year never saw this on TV...




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David Beckham plays prince for Disney


When David Beckham announced his trade to the Los Angeles Galaxy soccer club, it seemed inevitable that he and his wife, Victoria Beckham, would settle into the Hollywood scene. The first true sign of the Beckham's entry into American pop culture came when Victoria and David were approached by Fox to star in their own reality TV series. Now, Beckham has landed another high-profile celebrity role as the Sleeping Beauty character Prince Phillip in a new advertising campaign for Disney.

Beyonce Knowles & Scarlett Johansson in a new Disney advertising campaign!



Singer Beyonce Knowles, actress Scarlett Johansson and footballer David Beckham are among the stars appearing in a new Disney advertising campaign.
Renowned photographer Annie Leibovitz shot the celebrities in various fairytale guises in a promotion for Walt Disney's theme parks.
Recruited by Disney to promote Disneyland and Walt Disney World's Year of a Million Dreams campaign, Leibovitz persuaded her famous friends to dress up as classic Disney characters. The first images in this ongoing series will appear in the March issues of Vogue, Vanity Fair, W, GQ, Conde Nast Traveller, Cookie and The New Yorker reports USA TODAY.

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Saturday, January 27, 2007

Huge python makes a meal of 11 guard dogs


KUALA LUMPUR, Jan 26 (Reuters Life!) - Guard dogs protecting a fruit orchard in Malaysia have met their match -- a 7.1-metre-long (23-ft-long) python that swallowed at least 11 hounds before it was finally discovered by villagers.

"I was shocked to see such a huge python," orchard-keeper Ali Yusof told the New Straits Times in an article published beneath a picture of the captured snake, which was almost long enough to span the width of a tennis court and as thick as a tree trunk.
Villagers did not harm the snake, which was tied to a tree then handed to wildlife officials, the paper said on Friday.

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Penis Joke / Shit Creek


THE PENIS WANTS A RAISE


I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:


1-------- I do physical labor.
2.------- I work at great depths.
3.------- I plunge head first into everything I do.
4.------- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5.--------I work in a damp environment.
6. -------I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7.------- I work in high temperatures.

Reply: Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised, the management denies your Request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen
visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such
as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you
have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not a all, you have constantly been seen
entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management

Five reasons not to be a penis


1. You're bald your whole life.
2. You have a hole in your head.
3 Your neighbors are nuts.
4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and..
5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.

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Friday, January 26, 2007

Strip Paris Hilton Naked

Click title to go to the game and see if you can strip Paris down to nothing...

Good Luck


Salomon wants to remove links to Salomon/Hilton Video(Enter keyword paris hilton)

Infringing Material: We strongly believe that the operators of the following pages are engaging in copyright infringement by: (a.) directly infringing upon the copyrights in the Video; and/or (b.) engaging in "personal conduct that encourages or assists the infringement." [Perfect 10, Inc. v Cybernet Ventures. Inc., 213 F.Supp.2d 1146 (9th Cir. 2002)] Each of these instances of copyright infringement relates to recognizable portions of the Video which has been registered by the U.S. Copyright Office.
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Paris Hilton's Private Items on Internet

LOS ANGELES // For those who haven't yet, somehow, had their fill of Paris Hilton, there's a new Web site that has posted a seemingly endless offering of the celebutante's belongings. The Web site, ParisExposed.com, launched Tuesday. It boasts that ...

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Paris Hilton Sleeps with a Monkey


Paris told Australian’s Cosmopolitan magazine, “I don’t have sex unless I’m in a relationship. I’m old-fashioned when it comes to that. I really am! Yes, I’ve kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that’s it. I don’t go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot.”

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